Cogs can think.

Writing about Fiat in my previous post, I realised that the American readers of my blog may have never even seen a Fiat - or, more worringly, may have never even seen an Alfa Romeo at all. Since Alfa will be returning to the American market in 2008, a few words for my American friends regarding Alfa are in place.

Every self-respecting American will know at least one Alfa Romeo - the Duetto Spider 1600 driven by Dustin Hoffman in 1967’s The Graduate. When Alfa returns to the States in 2008, they will kick off by selling you guys the sexiest and most beautiful car in existence (apart from the Tipo 33 Stradale): the Alfa 8C Competazione, followed a year later by the world’s most beuatiful sedan, the Alfa 159, the automobile pornography known as the Alfa Brera, and its spider sister, the Alfa Spider. Alfa Romeo’s will be sold at Maserati dealerships throughout the US.

The promotional video, including a few glimpses in Alfa’s glorious past, of the 8C.

Before you think about checking them out, there are a few things you ought to know about Alfa Romeo. Firstly, when referring to the brand as a whole, it is “Alfa Romeo”. When you refer to specific models, you drop the “Romeo” part, i.e. “Alfa Brera” (and not “Alfa Romeo Brera”). Alfa Romeo also has a long lineage, a racing pedigree predating that of Ferrari.

Secondly, contrary to American cars or cars for the American market, Alfa Romeos are driver’s cars. In other words, the suspension won’t come in setting ’slinky’, and it will - in fact - not steer like an oiltanker filled with dead elephants. In other words, when you turn the steering wheel, the car will in fact actually steer in the designated direction. On top of that, the brakes will actually brake.

Thirdly, and most importantly, Alfas appeal not to your brain, but to your heart. Alfa Romeo is about emotion, butterflies in your stomach, love, and passion. An Alfa Romeo is about as Italian as it gets; it’s about style. An Alfa is like a beautiful woman; sure, she can be annoying, whiny, demanding, and dumb; but you’ll forgive her because she’s so darn pretty.

I have a deep love for Alfa. My heart skips a few beats whenever I see one, and jealousy pours out of every pore in my body.