Cogs can think.

Some people… Some people just have it all. They meet Ellen Muth, and get her to sign a cool skeleton figurine. And to top it all off, get her to hold that figurine while wearing a big, warm, and honest smile on her ever so pretty and enchanting face.

You really can’t imagine the amount of jealousy rushing through my synapses at this point.

How about this.

Choose a certain period in your life; say the coming week. Then, write down every instance something that happened in your life, something that happened to you, or with you, made you feel annoyed, uncomfortable, or unpleasant. Reading something in the paper and feeling annoyed does not count, since the thing you read about in the news did not happen to you.

Then, for every item on your list, write down if it was caused by someone from Dutch/West ancestry, or by someone from Muslim ancestry.

After a week, you’ll see that most of the things that make you feel annoyed, sad, or angry, are caused by Dutch people, with a Dutch background. Doing a test like this (you have to have the guts to be honest with yourself!) will show you that no, your grieves are not caused by people with a Muslim background. They are caused by your fellow Westerners.

The reason I devised this simple test is that I see a lot of people who have zero interaction with Muslims that still see Muslims and the Islam as the cause for the problems in The Netherlands. I live in a very small, and cosy little town, and no, there barely are any Muslims in here, and most of the people I know here barely ever leave this town - they see my casual trips to Amsterdam which I make a few times a week as something special. Dude, that’s like, the other side of the world.

If these people do not see Muslims as the cause for their problems based on their own experiences with them, it must mean that this is caused by something else. The obvious suspects? The media, and our politicians. They give much more attention to the whole Islam debate than it deserves, talking their cattle buyers/voters into unsubstantiated fear and hatred; fear and hatred that will make them vote for them or buy their newspapers.

It is a despicable tactic, but in today’s political climate, there are few who dare to properly stand up against it, there are few who dare to openly do their duty as Dutchmen and women to fight for equality, tolerance, and respect. The Muslims in this country carry a Dutch passport, just like we do, and as such, they automatically have all the rights we have. They have the right to believe their own believes, to wear the clothes they want, to send their children to a school they want. Denying these basic rights to people carrying the Dutch passport (what some of our politicians openly advocate) is, as far as I’m concerned, treason. Those politicians, as well as their sheepish followers, are stepping upon the graves of our ancestors - ancestors who have fought for all that we have today.

Do the test, and you’ll see.

It’s sad. They want to put a roof on top of one of the most beautiful and legendary speed skating rinks in the world: Inzell. While understandable from their point of view - they want to remain relevant too now that Erfurt is stealing a lot of their thunder - it would be a shame from our point of view.

I like out door speed skating. There’s something magical about it; whether in good weather (like this weekend’s World Cup sprint), or in bad weather, with snow storms and gale force winds. We are loosing professional-grade outdoor speed skating rinks at an alarming rate, and that’s a sad thing. It’s progress, I know, and of course, I like the world records in Salt Lake City, Nagano, and Calgary - but when it comes to atmosphere, these just can’t compete.

If there is one skating track in Europe that could do with a roof, it’s Collalbo. This is a ‘highland’ track in the Italian Alps, and Europe desperately needs its own highland track to compete with North America and Japan.

One may dream.

This is exactly why I like felines so much. They are gracious, agile, beautiful, inventive, stealthy, and just downright awesome on every level.

Humans the pinnacle of evolution? Don’t make me laugh.

“With 300+ new features, Leopard is the most impressive Mac OS X version yet.”

We can go back in time, edit photos while making a cure for cancer, and of course, we look cool and hip while doing it.

AND YET STILL NO ARROW KEY NAVIGATION IN DIALOGS.

The impossible has occurred. My faith in the Race of Teachers has been restored. Slightly.

I’ve been having one hell of a problematic few weeks leading up to the start of my bachelor’s thesis. The first step is finding a subject, which was easy enough for me: I want to make comparisons between English and Scottish Gaelic at the phonetic or grammatical level, hopefully finding some evidence for bi or semi directional influence between the two languages. This is of course a very specific subject, and trust me, it’s a difficult one. My grammatical knowledge of English is fine (although I mostly act on instinct), but on Gaelic it’s of course almost non-existant. This is why I wanted to delve into this - to expand my knowledge on the subject. Sure, I can focus on something easy, but that wouldn’t be challenging.

The second step is finding a tutor for the whole process, a professor who guides you through the process, gives advice, and helps you all-round. This professor is of course supposed to specialise in the field you want to study. And this is where everything started to go horribly, horribly, wrong.

Back in December last year, we were given a special lecture on bachelors’ theses, and during that lecture, we were given a list of possible tutors, including their specialties, email addresses, and so on. I was delighted to see that my tutor of choice, who I had decided upon weeks and weeks ago, was on that list. So, after working out my research plans in a bit more detail, I decided to email her somewhere mid-January.

I went to her personal university webpage, and was in for a shock: even though she was clearly listed as a possible tutor, she was actually unavailable. She’s on sabbatical, and even though that’s great for her, my faculty should not have listed her, obviously. The reason I wanted her as my tutor is because I have very good experiences with her teaching (she taught me an English phonetics & phonology course); she’s very kind, understanding, patient, and calm - exactly what a guy like me needs. Her specialties are English phonology and grammar, so it was a perfect fit.

But, sadly, she was unavailable. I felt very, very angry inside, as this is case number 93594 where my faculty fails to properly do its job of guiding its students through their academic career - trust me, I can fill three blogs with their mistakes and errors, errors that, among other things, will cost Marco and me an extra year of university. FOR ONE COURSE.

I realised anger wouldn’t get me anywhere, so I re-grouped, calmed down, and went over the list again. There wasn’t anyone with the proper specialties, so I chose someone who had taught me before - also with a background in English grammar, but sadly, it wasn’t her prime subject. As a consequence, I nuanced my proposal differently so it fit her specialties better, and went to her personal webpage to find her email address. You can see where I’m going with this, right?

She was also unavailable - pregnancy leave. Great, of course, and congratulations to her on the birth of her new child, but now I felt seriously and truly fcuked. I now know how King Edward II felt right before he died. Bugger, old chap, it appears as if a hot metal poke has been inserted into my rectum.

I didn’t know what to do. I was so fed up with my university, my faculty, all their mistakes, their total lack of leniency, and their utter disregard for the moral obligations that come with being a teacher. I kind of ‘blocked’ on the whole subject, and couldn’t think about it anymore. I got stuck, couldn’t take any further action, as anytime I thought about it I would get too angry to think rational.

In other words, I lost my ability to kiss ass. And trust me, I RULE AT KISSING ASS. It has given me much, much profit. And now, Google hits too. Hi, boys and girls, THIS IS NOT RIMJOB.COM.

Anyway, it took me a while to restore my ability to kiss ass. This week, it was back. I’ve been feeling top-notch ever since February kicked off, and if there ever was a moment to kiss ass to solve this issue, it was now. Two days ago, I emailed my study advisor, asking her for advice. I explained my situation to her, and she was very understanding and sweet. She advised me to contact professor, err, let’s call him professor Locke (a great guy, I already know him very well), since he leads the English linguistics department. The deadline for the research proposal is, uhm, tomorrow, but this situation is beyond my control, so I hope I’ll be getting some leniency here.

I emailed professor Locke, explained my situation again, and he promptly replied that he’d dive into it right away, to try and find someone willing and fit for the subject at hand. A few hours later, he emailed again, stating he couldn’t find anyone, so he advised me to alter my subject, and then get back to him with a few proposals.

Yes, boys and girls, this is what I expect from a teacher. I’ve had so many teachers and professors working against me, that it almost made my cry that I finally found someone who worked with me, even though he is most certainly not obliged to do so. This has restored my faith in the Teacher’s Race for now, and I’m sure that with his help, I’ll get out of this situation after all.

The poke is still there, but it feels as if I’ve been given some vaseline.

I’m doing the dishes, doorbell rings, blonde girl, my age, with a big smile on her face asks if she could see my house from the inside. Her parents are standing behind her. She explains she has been assigned the same apartment I have, two doors down, but it’s already empty so no one opens the door.

I say, sure, come in, I’ll give you the grand tour. Her laugh is contagious, she likes how I decorated the place (of course you do, I spent 18 months and thousands of Euros getting it to look this good), and after a few words on the neighbourhood, they leave.

I close the front door, a bit baffled. Did that just really happen?

I’ve never been particularly fond of Nirvana’s albums. They’re nice, but to me, they are way overrated. Cobain’s untimely death of course only contributed to the hype. Still, Nirvana has a very special place in my heart, for reasons that are really none of your business.

There is an exception. Nirvana’s unprecedented Unplugged album. It is by far the best unplugged album out there, and it shows a completely different Nirvana. Instead of the fairly repetitive songs on their albums, we get to see and listen to a much different Nirvana - emotional, introvert, sensitive; filled with blues and folk. It is a landmark in music history, and as far as I’m concerned, it’s an album any self-respecting music lover should have listened to at least ten times.

Nirvana’s unplugged sessions were never meant to reach a wider audience, but after Cobain’s death, it only made sense to release the sessions - they were Cobain’s public suicide notes, especially the final song, “Where Did You Sleep Last Night“. Cobain’s interpretation of this 1870’s classic folk song is such an eery experience, it makes you twitch, shiver, and generally make you feel very, very uncomfortable. Every possible human emotion will travel through your body, and regularly, I can barely contain these emotions, forcing me to stand up, walk around, to start doing something. The singing is subdued, contained - only to lash out at the final verses and lines, completely unexpected, but therefore, ever more effective.

Right before he sings the final few words, a silence breaks the song. You hear a deep, frustrated, but at the same time relieving sigh from Cobain - to me, it always appears as if during that exact moment, Cobain decided to end it all. And that makes this song one of the most important songs in human history. Cobain and Nirvana had still so much potential in them left, and it is a very, very, very sad thing that we never got to see them rise to their fullest potential.

On the other hand, we’d have had to do without Unplugged. And as cruel as it may sound, Unplugged alone almost makes you understand Cobain’s death.

Apparently, because the tech community all support Obama, and they are intelligent (good one, that), I’m now supposed to switch to supporting Obama too. Right-o, it might be time to explain why I support Clinton.

You need to know one thing: in all honesty, I don’t really give a rat’s ass about who gets into office in the US. Whether you guys get Obama, Clinton, McCain, or a flying pumpkin covered in red wine, the world will still be a shitty place to live in, and the US will still be a glorified 3rd world country. No amount of Obama or Clinton is going to change that.

I don’t fall for people who give good speeches. Obama sure can deliver a good speech, but heck, many dictators could do that too, and it didn’t make them good politicians either. I’m not comparing them, I’m just trying to say that voting for someone based solely on his speech abilities is silly. Really, really silly.

And change? I’m sorry, you’re talking to someone with OCD, I really, really don’t like change. We Dutch built a pretty nice country for ourselves, and despite what some politicians want you to believe, The Netherlands really isn’t facing any major challenges. We’re rich as hell, have more stuff than ever, and have a relatively good social security system; we don’t have any big problems here like you Americans have, and as such, there simply is no need for change in this country. At all.

I transfer my dislike for change to American politics - which is completely ridiculous and unreasonable, but hey, did I ever say it wasn’t? I live on the other side of the pond, I don’t have to care about what happens to you Americans from a political perspective. The influence of the US on the economical world is fading, and the political influence will follow, meaning my personal life will be affected even less than now by whatever president you guys get.

So, if Obama’s change stuff doesn’t strike a cord with me, I’m left with making the decision based on other things. To me, Clinton comes across as knowledgeable, intelligent, experienced, and, most importantly, tough. She vaguely reminds me of Thatcher. Obama, on the other hand, comes across as a good speaker (yes), but also as inexperienced, less knowledgeable, and less tough. Obama is a good guy, I’m sure of it, and his intentions are definitely good, but so are Clinton’s. They should team up after the primaries, as I’m sure that together (with Clinton leading, preferably), they will be better able to make the US a better place for its citizens.

That’s my reasoning, and whether you like it or not, leave me be. I’ve had quite a few people already trying to make me ’see the light’ with regards to Obama, implying I’m somehow stupid or less intelligent because I prefer Clinton. And that’s starting to piss me off. I’m not telling any of you Obama folk you’re stupid or less intelligent for supporting him, so please, don’t tell that to me either.

As I’ve blogged about before, The Netherlands has a very rich music culture. The problem, of course, is that most of you don’t understand a word Dutch (shame on you!), and as such, really can’t properly experience Dutch music. That’s why, every now and then, I translate a Dutch song into English, for all to enjoy.

Guus Meeuwis. If there is one artist that has experienced a positive development over time, it’s him. He started out as a rather corny student singer, but later turned out to be a great, inspiring singer/songwriter, and his last string of songs are of outstanding quality. I especially like “Tranen Gelachen“.

The rain ruins a March afternoon, at least, that’s what she thought
But I kept some sunlight in my head, so I get the last laugh

And without my jacket, I step outside
Full of spirit, I start my journey
I have to tell myself not to whistle
That’s how I walk towards the sun

Today, I’ll meet my friends of old, just to see if something’s still there
Of the boys within us, who didn’t ask for anything, who didn’t want to know what was black or white

I laughed tears of joy, acted silly, and in the end, contently… Turned off the lights

I’m greeted by a pat on my shoulder
How are you, first joke, first beer
In this light we barely aged, a short silence, then we laugh

One by one, the room fills, the guys never change
Still, there is so much new to tell, the guys never change

I laughed tears of joy, acted silly, and in the end, contently… Turned off the lights

The stars foresee a morning in March that whispers, “spring is here”
And I can’t get a cab at this hour, but why do I care - spring is here

I laughed tears of joy, acted silly, and in the end, contently… Turned off the lights
I laughed tears of joy, acted silly, and in the end, contently… Turned off the lights

Turned off the lights

I love this song so very much, because I know I will be in a similar situation ten years from now, and when future Thom leaves to meet his friends of now, he’ll still remember this song, smile on his face, pedal to the metal.

With Fiona next to me, of course.