Cogs can think.

I was forced to blatantly lie, yesterday evening.

Yesterday was my last day at work before what I now refer to as ‘pre-vacation’. I have 3 weeks off work starting next Sunday, but in the coming week I only have to work on Wednesday, Friday evening, and Saturday. In other words, barely - hence, pre-vacation. Yes, my mind always works like that, and no, it’s not contagious.

Anyway, my best friends and I decided to go out for dinner at the restaurant where on one of us works. The thing is though - this friend of mine, Martin, has a really, really cute colleague. I remember when he tried to get me active on Hyves (the Dutch variant of MySpace), something which I absolutely loathe. He showed me his Hyves page, and right there, in his friends list, was this really, really pretty lady. Blonde hair, round face, rosy cheeks, the whole nine yards. Who’s THAT? I said in a forced casual manner. He explained she was one of his colleagues at work - mind you, a little young though. Like, 17. Well below my mental comfort zone, but my mental comfort zones have been known to bend (what, you mean 1 hour of sleep doesn’t make you completely sober and fit for driving?).

Oh, he did get me active on Hyves. It took a little more pushing from Renaatje, but I’m a perfect little young person now.

The whole thing with that girl kind of started to lead a life of its own, becoming one of our catchphrases, one of our topics of conversation, but never in a real, three dimensional way. I had never seen her, never met her, never talked to her, so she was just the flat, 2D image on her Hyves page. Mind you, a very good-looking and cute image, but just an image nonetheless. I had no notion of who she was, didn’t have any judgements to pass. From what Martin could tell me, I did realise she was a perfectly fine lady, intelligent, interesting.

We’ve eaten at Martin’s restaurant before, but she was never at work when we were there. Until, as you may have guessed right about now, yesterday evening. Yes, Martin told me, she’s going to be at work Saturday. I was kind of excited (in a perfectly normal social and psychological way) because I would finally have the opportunity to add depth to the 2D image. I only have to meet someone once, and bang, I can make a snap judgement. And these judgements have never failed me. I’m always right. It’s a gift that I cherish. And one YOU should fear.

My friends and I were seated - completely coincidentally - in The Girl’s area of work. She’d be taking our orders. I was presented with the perfect opportunity to seize her up, and when I did, I was all like, nice. She had what I call presence. I don’t really know how to explain the concept of presence, but some people just have it. When they enter a room, people look. And they don’t have to be hot or whatever - they just turn heads.

And boy did she have presence. By the bucketloads. You could paint the restaurant three times with it.

Marco wanted to know if I found her to be everything that I thought she would be. And now I need to tell you a little bit about Marco. You see, contrary to normal people, Marco doesn’t descend from Adam and Eve. Consequently, Marco doesn’t carry the original sin, nor does he carry the burden of having a sense of shame - much to the dismay of people like me.

So, from experience, I know that having a conversation with Marco about women that are within shouting distance is kind of like running into a minefield with a blindfold on. It will end with me making a total ass out of myself. Marco will make a total ass out of himself too, but he doesn’t have a sense of shame, so he doesn’t give a crap. If I were to tell the truth about the whole The Girl thing, I’d be in serious trouble.

So I lied. Meh, she’s not really what I thought she would be, I said, casually.

He took the bait, but still, I can’t stop and think… If I hadn’t lied, would this have been a better story?