Cogs can think.

Someone just told me his apartment lacks curtains.

So, I said, no prancing around naked while singing Spice Girls songs?

Not that I do that, of course. At least, not regularly.

We have a guest lecturer tomorrow. She posted an article online for us to read.

Two scanned images embedded in a Word document.

SHE BETTER BE PRETTY.

I need to make a mark fast. I need to get really rich, really quick. I discovered a grey hair. Now, I’m already balding badly, but the grey hair did it.

Soon, I’ll be 30 and married. I’ll have 2.3 kids, a Korean SUV, and a dreadful 9-to-5. In other words, I’ll be dead.

FIONA!

It’s funny how you can see the concept of evolution all around you.

During lunch break at work today, I overheard the news on the radio; a few teenage girls had died in a gas explosion. They were trying to get high off natural gas. IN A COUNTRY WHERE YOU CAN SCORE DRUGS ON EVERY PLAYGROUND.

That’s natural selection at work right there. We should be happy they don’t get to pass on their genes.

As long as they don’t start squealing, toddlers can actually be kind of fun and cute. At work today, a customer comes in with his little son, probably about 2 years old. He was wearing this miniature version of a blue worker’s overall, with baby wellingtons on his feet, and it just looked SO DARN CUTE.

I’m so going to make my future son wear one of those overalls at all times, including the wellingtons. Even at night.

And then, when he gets older, he’ll buy a pick up truck, and he’ll shoot at birds with bb guns. And I’m going to be SO PROUD.

Speaking of Wilders, here’s another gem.

Ultimately many fundamental problems in the Netherlands are directly related to migrants, like infrastructure, traffic jams, housing problems, the welfare state.

Traffic jams are caused by immigrants? And there I was, thinking they were caused by badly laid-out highways with too little capacity.

omgwtfnooo!!11! Hide your children! Park your car indoors! Buy lots of bottled water, toilet paper, cat food, and canned beans! Duck and cover! Curl up in fetal position in a corner and cry!

For the love of god people, this is not a joke! We are facing the worst disaster to have ever struck in the history of man!

She’s coming! SHE’S COMING I TELL YOU!

Best Southpark joke ever (s06e05).

Check it out guys, I’m calf-curling.

I actually ‘like‘ curling (don’t worry, I like pick up trucks so it evens out).

“With 300+ new features, Leopard is the most impressive Mac OS X version yet.”

We can go back in time, edit photos while making a cure for cancer, and of course, we look cool and hip while doing it.

AND YET STILL NO ARROW KEY NAVIGATION IN DIALOGS.

What do Ikea, blow-up turtles, impolite questions, Disaronno, and underwear have in common?

Beats me.

All I know is that they can make one heck of a day.