Cogs can think.

There’s so much more to see
I don’t believe this is how the world should be

Just wanted to share.

This live performance right here? Fiona Apple and Elvis Costello performing “I Want You”? This is the pinnacle of music - no, this is the pinnacle of art.

Seven minutes and eighteen seconds of pure emotion, frustration, and devotion. I am really not kidding when I say that Fiona is the best artist in human history. Whenever I see this performance, I’m just completely stunned, left breathless. You can see that the crowd knows they’ve witnessed something miraculous, you can see it in their eyes.

I would give up a lot for the opportunity to see Fiona perform live. I can live without my lungs, right?

Back in high school, I had a friend (he’s still a friend, although we don’t see each other very often) who was quite intelligent - as in, cum laude university. This is one of those people who are always right, no matter the subject, no matter the state of intoxication.

Except for this one time, like 6 years ago, where I totally omgPWNIES! him.

Him: “Damn, normally I don’t have many issues with Spanish - I usually understand most of it - but this Aserejé song, I don’t have a clue what they’re singing about…!”

The frustration was clear.

Me: “Uhm, dude…”

Him: “Yes?”

Me: “…that isn’t Spanish.”

If there ever was a way to explain to the world what the State Of The Teenage Girl is in The Netherlands at this point in time - it’s this.

You and me were cut from the same cloth
It seems to some we famously get along
But you and me are strangers to each other
Because you and me: competitive to the bone

Such tragedy to trample on each other with how much we’ve endured
With the state this land is in

You and me feel joined only by gender
We are not all for one and one for all

Sister blister we fight to please the brothers
We think their acceptance is how we win
They’re happy we’re climbing over each other
To beg the club of boys to let us in

You and me estranged from the mother
You and me have felt impotent in our skin
You and me have taken it out on each other
You and me disloyal to the feminine

Such a pity to disavow each other with how far we’ve come
With how strong we’ve been

You and me are on this pendulum together
You and me with scarcity still fueling

Sister blister we fight to please the brothers
We think their acceptance is how we win
They’re happy we’re climbing over each other
To beg the club of boys to let us in

We may not have priorities same
We may not even like each other
We may not be hugely anti-men
But such a cost to dishonor a sister

You and me have made it harder for the other
We forget how hard separatism has been
You and me we can help change their minds together
You and me in alignment until the end

Sister blister we fight to please the brothers
We think their acceptance is how we win
They’re happy we’re climbing over each other
To beg the club of boys to let us in

Sister Blister from Alanis Morissette, from her relatively unknown mini-album Feast On Scraps (2002) - which, ironically, might actually be her best material to date.

While a lot of people seem to think that Fiona and Alanis are two apples fallen from the same tree, this is decidedly not the case. The two are like night and day, producing art with the only shared characteristic that of being music. Musically, the difference is pretty drop-dead obvious.

Lyrically, the difference might be a lot less obvious to casual listeners. I knew the difference was there, I knew they write lyrics that are really unique and not at all alike - I just never knew how to put it into words.

Well, I do now.

Alanis puts into words how everyone feels. Fiona puts into words how Fiona feels.

And, well, uhm, Fiona doesn’t really resemble ‘everyone’. You can easily identify with Alanis’ words, but you can never really identify with Fiona’s words. And that’s the major difference, and also the reason why lyrically, I prefer Fiona: she goes her own way, and she writes about how she feels, in her own unique way. Alanis writes about her own feelings too, but she writes in such a way that her listeners can identify with her - and she makes concessions in the process.

Fiona doesn’t do concessions. Fiona is all Fiona, all the time. And that’s why I love her so much.

“I don’t know who you’re talking to with such fcuking disrespect.” That’s Alanis’ message to her ex-fiance, actor Ryan Reynolds, from the song “Straitjacket” on her new album. “Flavors Of Entanglement” has completely blown my socks off - there are no other words for it.

So-Called Chaos left me with a bitter after taste - it didn’t deliver, it wasn’t Alanis at her best. The album had its moments, but it was by far the weakest so far, which left me with the scary realisation that for all we knew, Alanis might have lost the magic touch.

But Flavors Of Entanglement, which she co-produced with Bjork and Madonna producer Guy Sigsworth, is nothing short of a rebirth. It combines all that was good about her masterpiece Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie with the musical complexity of Feast On Scraps, with a sauce of the electricity found on Madonna’s Ray Of Light - topped off with the franticness of Bjork’s Volta and Post.

The album opener, “Citizen Of The Planet” is a musical revelation, the chorus will make your heart pounding. The already mentioned Straitjacket should make Scarlet Johansson think twice about her relationship with Reynolds - “I swear you won’t be happy ’til I’m bound in a straitjacket.” It’s not all up-tempo and anger, as the soft melancholy of Not As We and Torch shows the other side of Alanis: touching, emotional, extremely clever.

But most of all, I’m happy Alanis is - again - confident enough to unleash her most powerful weapon: her unrivalled, uncontrollable voice. It weeps, it lashes out, it comforts, it unsettles. I don’t care about all the music, the instruments, the artwork - I’m just happy her voice is back, and I can again enjoy her one-of-a-kind sounds.

I was wrong to doubt her. Flavors Of Entanglement is a masterpiece, no doubt about it. It’s right up there with Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie. Absolute brilliance.

Definitely recommended.

This is probably the most popular song right now in The Netherlands, even though it’s nowhere to be found in the charts, and might not even be on sale in record stores. “Just For Tonight” by One Night Only is the song which the sports program uses for its daily montage of the most interesting moments from the European Championships Football.

Two years ago, during the World Championships in Germany, they used the surprisingly fresh “Wenn Es Passiert” from German band Wir Sind Helden, and “Just For Tonight” is just as fitting. There’s this thing in the corus that just really makes it work, it almost evokes an emotional response. “Just for tonight / just maybe we’ll make it / sing like you want this”.

We’ve seen marvellously energetic, fierce, but extremely fair and honest football so far. Maybe, just maybe, football will make it.

Still one of my favourite songs by The Cardigans. Frantic music, frantic lyrics, frantic video. It may be clear what the song’s about - like so many other of Nina’s songs, it’s about alcohol abuse.

I just love this line: “Baby you’re foul in clear conditions, but you’re handsome in the fog”. Utter brilliance.

Banned in the US and many other countries back in 2003 for being too graphic (we Dutch got to see it full on, though), this is one of the best videos ever made.

I love it. This is how I like music videos: graphic, confronting, nauseating, with a message. Just one of Robbie Williams’ many masterpieces. “We sing love songs so sincere…”

TAKE THAT celebrities.

YouTube comments are generally the worst thing the intertubes have ever brought forth. However, as always, the exception confirms the rule. YouTube comment on an interview with Fiona:

She makes me want to have kids just so I can pretend that she’s the mother!

I’m SO with you.